Several thousand years ago, a small
tribe of ignorant near-savages wrote various collections of myths, wild
tales, lies, and gibberish. Over the centuries, these stories were embroidered,
garbled, mutilated, and torn into small pieces that were then repeatedly
shuffled. Finally, this material was badly translated into several languages
successively. The resultant text, creationists feel, is the best guide
to this complex and technical subject.
Philosophy is questions that may
never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.
If forgiveness is divine, why is
there a hell?
Organized religion is like organized
crime; it preys on peoples' weaknesses, generates huge profits for its
operators, and is almost impossible to eradicate.
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed
him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying
for a fish.
Religion is to brain what tapeworm
is to intestine.
Better to be thought a fool, than
to open your bible and remove all doubt.
The Religious Right. Never underestimate
the power of stupid people in large groups.
Whatever a man prays for, he prays
for a miracle.
'God is as real as I am', the old
man said. I was relieved since I knew Santa wouldn't lie to me...
If god doesn't like the way I live,
Let him tell me, not you.
There are none more ignorant and
useless, than they that seek answers on their knees, with their eyes closed.
Faith is deciding to allow yourself
to believe something your intellect would otherwise cause you to reject
-- otherwise there's no need for faith.
Any belief worth having must survive
If you ask the wrong questions you
get answers like '42' or 'God'.
It seems odd that those who scoff
at sun worshippers are apt to worship a vacuum.
Agnosticism simply means that a
man shall not say he knows or believes that for which he has no grounds
for professing to believe.
Humanity's first sin was faith;
the first virtue was doubt.
Power corrupts; Absolute power corrupts
absolutely; God is all-powerful. Draw your own conclusions
Theists think all gods but theirs
are false. Atheists simply don't make an exception for the last one.
You don't pray in my school, and
I won't think in your church.
A zealot's stones will break my
bones, but gods will never hurt me.
Nine out of ten priests who have
tried Camels, prefer young boys.
A society without religion is like
a crazed psychopath without a loaded .45
Two hands working do more than a
thousand clasped in prayer
Garbage In -- Gospel Out
Theology: The study of elaborate
verbal disguises for non-ideas.
Religions are what dreams are made
All Gods were immortal.
Consider the ignorance of the average
fundamentalist. Then realize that by definition fully half of them must
be even dumber than that.
The mind of the fundamentalistis
like the pupil of the eye: the more light you pour on it, the more it will
Out of convicted rapists, 57% admitted
to reading pornography. 95% admitted to reading the Bible.
Freedom is the Distance Between
Church and State
When The Religious Right Takes Over,
We'll All Live In Iran
A metaphysician is a blind man in
a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there, and a theologian
is one who finds the cat.
Only Sheep need a shepherd!
Eskimo: "If I did not know about
God and sin, would I go to hell?"
Priest: "No, not if you did not
Eskimo: "Then why did you tell
Gods are fragile things; they may
be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense."
The only difference between religion
and superstition is the spelling.
A lie is at the heart of 'beLIEf.'
If god doesn't like the way
I live, let him tell me, not you.
Why be born again, when you can
just grow up?
Fundamentalism means never having
to say 'I'm wrong.'
Since the Bible and the church are
obviously mistaken in telling us where we came from, how can we trust them
to tell us where we are going?
On the first day, man created God.
Atheists will celebrate life, while
youíre in church celebrating death.
Jesus hardly made the greatest sacrifice.
He knew he would be resurrected anyway.
A believer states everything must have a creator but fail
to say how he was created.
Don't pray in my school, and I won't think in your church.
You keep believing, I'll keep evolving.
People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't
have such funny beliefs.
Man created God in his image : intolerant, sexist, homophobic
Morality is doing what is right no matter what you are
told. Religion is doing what you are told no matter what is right.
Christian: I'll pray for you. Atheist: Then I'll think
for both of us.
Christianity: Safer than a lobotomy, but just as effective.
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion
is answers that may never be questioned.
I have no need for religion, I have a conscience.
Blind faith is an ironic gift to return to the Creator
of human intelligence.
Doesn`t it bother you that you put more logical thought
into choosing a car than you do in choosing a god?
George Bush says he speaks to god every day, and christians
love him for it. If George Bush said he spoke to god through his hair dryer,
they would think he was mad. I fail to see how the addition of a hair dryer
makes it any more absurd.
The same people that wrote the bible thought the world
Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead.
~ Scottish proverb
It makes no difference as to the name of the God, since
love is the real God of all in the world. ~ Apache
Humanity without religion is like a serial killer without
If you speak the truth, have one foot in the stirrup.
~ Turkish proverb
Science is the great antidote to the poison of enthusiasm
For god so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten
son, that whosoever would believe in him would believe in anything.
It's your god. / They're your rules. / You go to
Thereís a REASON why atheists donít fly airplanes into
Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped
The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.
The sailor does not pray for wind, he learns to sail.
Thereís probably no god. Now stop worrying and enjoy
If triangles had a god heíd have three sides.
If we were made in godís image, why arenít we invisible
All religions are fairy tales.
Religion is myth-information.
Too stupid to understand science? Try religion.
Even it there was a god, why would he be so bored as to
create a universe just to look at? Bored enough to play games with
the human race? I cannot belive in a god, because if he were real,
I would have to hate him for his evil.
Want to know what happens after death? Go look at some
The Bible: because all the works of science cannot equal
the wisdom of cattle-sacrificing primitives who though every animal species
in the world lived within walking distance of Noah's house.
God made me an atheist. Who are you to question his wisdom.
Like all religions, the Holy Religion of the Invisible
Pink Unicorn is based upon both Logic and Faith. We have Faith that She
is Pink; we Logically know that She is Invisible, because we can't see
Religions: They can't all be right. They can all be wrong.
. . . .
. . .
I haven't rejected god, I've never met him.
Science Flies You To The Moon; Religion Flies You Into
There's probably no god. . . so now stop worrying and
Appraise the Lord. Tax churches.
If you believe the meek will inherit the earth you're
just where they want you.
Prayer: How to do nothing and still think youíre helping.
Without God, life is everything.
Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a
God is not dead, but alive and well and working on a much
less ambitious project.
Beware of the man of one book. - Latin Proverb
Religion's greatest enemy has always been common sense
The more tightly you cling to your faith, the looser your
grip is on reality.
Religion is the only subject where your ability to ignore
the facts is seen as a positive virtue.
Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts
have no place in organized religion.